Battle of the Mamas

These are just a few of the things I have encountered while being a mom to my 6, 3 and 5 month old kids. Somethings are my personal belief, and somethings I said because, well, everyone else was just thinking it :) 

As if becoming a mother isn't challenging enough with all the new things and sleepless nights, but little did you know, you also just signed up for war. And let me tell you, it's getting old. There is this silent (sometimes not) judgmental war that goes on among moms. Whether you breast feed or formula feed, cloth diaper or use disposables, whether you have stretch marks and loose skin or you don't, adopt or have your own, whether you have 1 child or 6, vaccinate or don't, have a schedule or fly by the seat of your pants, spank or don't spank, lost all the baby weight or still have it years later, use all organic food or take out, stay home or work full time, home school or public school, schedule a c-section or go with no drugs, all natural things or man made...so many decisions we have to make! Not only do we have that pressure, but then there is the pressure we feel from others too, the judgement. What will people think? What will they say if they find out? You know the one, she comes to play group with her homemade baby food, and is sure that everyone knows it. Or the one that openly breastfeeds her 2 year old child while talking about always getting at least 20 oz. every time she pumps. Or maybe the one that boasts about being skinnier now than when she was a teenager? It can come from a family member or a friend and I am so sick of this back and forth arguing that goes on. I'm not saying don't be passionate about things, I'm saying don't be judgmental of those that are not. Truth is, YOU SHOULDN'T CARE WHAT SOMEONE ELSE DOES! (as long as the child is not in danger) I personally struggle with the fact that I wasn't able to breastfeed all my kids like I wanted. I don't need to hear that "breast is best" I know it is, but the fact is, I couldn't do it. You don't need to make me feel guilty about it, I can do that on my own. You don't need to tell me that I did it wrong or that I wasn't committed enough, it just didn't work for me, unlike it did for you. Everyone struggles with issues and things they wish they could have done differently. We as moms need to be very careful about the things we say to other moms, and we also need to have full confidence in the decisions we make for our kids. If you are going to do something, do your research and be sure you know why you want to do it and don't back down because someone is questioning your decision. You have obviously made the best possible personal decision for your family. Different people do different things for different reasons, who am I to judge you? If you feel like you NEED to say something to another mom, first of all, be sure she wants your opinion and do it in a loving and caring, non judging manner. Be grateful for your mothers instinct and trust your decision, because it is YOURS. There are so many different people in the world, it would be an incredibly boring place if we all did the same thing. The truth is, just because something might be easy or come naturally to you, does not mean the same for someone else. And just because you don't understand why, does not give you the right to judge it. We need to be supportive to one another and not look down on those that may be different than us. Now having said that, I will say again, do your research, don't jump on the wagon just because everyone else is, and don't give people something to talk about. Know why you want to do certain things, and know why you don't. That is your call, just be educated. I feel like I am constantly doing research for different things concerning my family. There is always some kind of battle going on between someone who hates a certain thing and says it's the worst, and someone who loves it and is forever changed by the exact same thing. Each family is different, and each mom is different, we need and require different things for our specific situations. You need to surround yourselves with positive and uplifting people and throat punch rid yourselves of the bad ones :) Love yourself and have confidence, you are beautiful you are perfect, and you are the exact mother the Lord wants for your child! "She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future." Proverbs 31:25 

 Refuse to sign up for this "war", and stand up for what you believe in, support your friends and ask questions, you might just learn something :)